Reminiscing for a moment about the Doms of my past . . . I was thinking back on my past loves and flings and I have discerned a trend in the men I have chosen. All of them have been brilliant, creative (in one way or another), gentlemanly, and very dominant. That last part should come as no surprise really, but the thing that makes it remarkable is that I never thought of myself as particularly submissive in my younger years. In fact, I thought myself to be the opposite – independent and liberated. Oh yes, I spent a great deal of time getting uptight about little things like someone kindly offering to hold a door for me or for making a nice comment about my appearance. I remember giving one of my boyfriends absolute heck about the way he ordered food at restaurants.

When the two of us would arrive, we’d both look at the menu and talk about what we wanted to eat, just like most couples do. However, when the server arrived to take our orders, my boyfriend would always order for me. I, being liberated and independent, felt that I was perfectly capable of speaking for myself.


The great thing about dominant males is that you can tell them how much you disagree with them until the cows come home, but they are still going to do things they way that they feel is best. And my boyfriend did not stop ordering for both of us – no matter how I complained. (Keep in mind, I was not so liberated that I wanted to pay for my half of the meal.) He said it was the gentlemanly thing to do and that no matter how unladylike I wanted to be, he was not going to change his ways.

That was fifteen years ago, and my how things have changed. I am happy to say that I am now more liberated than ever – in so far as I have cleared my mind of all the offensive garbage and politically correct thinking that kept me constantly offended and ever vigilant against any possible hint of sexism in those around me. What a relief!

So when someone orders food for me now, I have the freedom to choose whether or not I want to be appreciative and content – or offended and angry. I guess I always had that choice, but it just seemed back then that I was supposed to be offended. So I spent a lot of time offended, irritated, and angry. But there was no peace of mind in that. I should have listened to my grandmother all those years ago. “When someone does something nice for you, smile and say thank you.”

Ah Grandma, how right you were!