As anyone who has stumbled upon badly written internet porn can testify, the words an author chooses make a big difference in the effect on the reader. To protect the guilty I won’t mention names, but my sub and I read one story where the author thought long passages of “Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” and “Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!” were suitable substitutes for throes of passion. Likewise, I’ve found stories where the dialogue was worse than stilted, it was gone entirely. While this can be used by a very skillful author for dramatic effect, most of the time it’s simply a weakness of the story.

As a Dominant your job is both harder and easier. Unlike printed material, your lectures are much more like public speaking, just with an audience of one (usually). Without formal training, most people are petrified of speaking in a formal situation or think they sound stupid. On the other hand, most submissives are not going to be very critical, all told.

The most important thing to remember is that any sub in an established relationship has been punished by you before. She KNOWS that you have the ability and will to tan her hide. Things that might silly or trite to the Top will make her recall the last time she got twenty licks with the ‘mean paddle’ or was sent to her room with ‘six of the best’ in a fine English fashion.

A submissive, when schooled properly, lives in a physical AND mental world where someone wields authority over her. She can be in a state where she will hang on your every word because they will be that important to her. A bit of praise will let her breathe a sigh of relief in knowing she has pleased you. Harsher language will inform her that you are not happy and that she is in for trouble. Note that this doesn’t mean yelling at her. You can get much more impact with a calm order than a string of screamed invectives.

As long as your words and actions coincide consistently, your words will gain more and more power. If a first warning of ‘settle down’ is always followed by a caning when it is ignored, that warning will have that much more impact the next time. In a sense, the words can become as powerful, emotionally, as the actions themselves. And they are MUCH more likely to be usable in a public setting! Try to combine words/commands with your actions as much as possible for the greatest associative effect. If you fail to follow up properly, your words will just become empty noises.

In addition to whatever words/phrases you and your sub may develop (around here, ‘prepare yourself’ has a very specific meaning), there are many in common usage that may have an immediate emotional impact. Terms of address (Young lady, naughty girl, bad girl, slut), authority phrases (“I’m very disappointed in you”, “You need to be punished”, “You’ve been very naughty”) and commands all carry a lot of weight in your sub’s psyche. She has levers on her emotions with those words on them; make them an extension of your will. From your point of view, they may seem silly, but they are lightning from the other side of the paddle, believe me!

Here are a few good ones to get you started. The ones that will have the biggest impression on your sub will probably be different, but these are pretty effective:

“Don’t try to talk me out of this.” — Denies power to the sub (note that it drains away the power of the submissive’s own words… power indeed!)
“Let this be a lesson to you.” — Emphasizes your authority to impose punishment.
“Get over here and bend over this chair.” — Implies authority to punish, control and Dominate PLUS it gets the submissive into the proper position for punishment.
“You deserve this, so no more complaints.” — Establishes the Dominant as both judge of proper behavior and the instrument of punishment. It also denies the submissive any ability to deny that authority.
An old rule of thumb is simple, but worth repeating: Say what you mean and mean what you say.

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