I recently wondered why there are so many more submissive blogs than Dominant blogs. While there are a variety of reasons (Invidia suggests that bossy Doms are forcing their subs to blog… which I’m sure is true), I believe that the ultimate reason has to do more with our culture in general and how one becomes a Dom or sub.

A man with Dominant leanings can find a D/s relationship easily enough. Even in our culture that denigrates the traditional male virtues, the qualities of aggressiveness, strength and leadership are still valued and are quite attractive to interested subbies out there. In other words, simply by being manly, a guy can luck into the Dominant role in a relationship. Untutored and ill-trained for the position, perhaps, but in charge nonetheless. It’s very difficult to blog about something when you really don’t understand what you are doing.

A sub, on the other hand, has to do a lot more soul-searching in order to find the right kind of relationship. To get what she wants and needs, she must endure a lot of introspection and realization about her own desires. It takes a profound shift in attitude, for many, to voluntarily relinquish so much power… even before the paddling begins! Except for the foolish (and those exist), most potential subs will think long and hard about bending over for just any guy that comes along. A more introspective person can explain their attitudes and share their experiences more easily.

On top of this, females in our culture are used to revealing and sharing their emotions. So a sub is much more likely to know that she is a sub (and her own particular kinks) and considerably more likely to tell others about it. Even a certain shyness about ‘coming out of the dungeon’ is allayed by the relatively anonymity of the net. The world may know you tooks twenty strokes with the cane on Saturday (with photos and sound effects!), but not your family and friends. So your female sub not only knows herself better, but is more likely to share as well.

In our local scene there are far more subs than Doms and many of the Doms are older on average. These are the guys that have made the jump from just being a Dom to understanding what it means to be a Dom and how to manage a sub. Those who have overcome the social straightjacket on their minds (and can discipline and command without guilt) are like subbie magnets. Of course, ideally, all Dominants would make this breakthrough and understand themselves at least as thoroughly as your average sub. Until then, though, I think most of the viewpoints will be from the whippees than the whippers.