While I’ve heard many tales of people who knew they were spankos from, apparently, the time their mother’s doctor gave them a swat on the butt, I’m more interested in the stories of ‘discovery’. Whether gradual or abrupt, wrenching dislocation or a blessed relief, I’m endless fascinated by the moment of realization.
As for myself, I’ve always leaned toward dominance, more so the older I got. But I was the overweight, nerdy kid with glasses who was terribly shy to boot. Fortunately, I’ve overcome all of these things (well, I wear contacts and have a ‘comfortable’ midsection, heh.) Anyway, I had a long struggle just to convince myself that girls would like me, much less bend over and let me swat their tails.
It was falling in love with Invidia that let me truly grow into my Dominance. She was very much a sub when I first met her, but that side of her personality was well hidden. As we grew closer, she tested the waters carefully to see how I would respond and then finally just came clean about her desires. Of course, I had to throw off decades of societal conditioning to really do it right, but that she knew exactly what she wanted (and telling me repeatedly) made it much easier.
So my moment of realization was a bit anticlimactic. I had vague notion that I wanted to be ‘in charge’ of our sexuality but hadn’t thought through the implication. Then this sexy woman told me that she wanted me to boss her around and make her do all sorts of nasty things. And, after a few years, I was able to do so without feeling like I was doing something wrong, heh. I knew, but it was awhile before that knowledge sank down into my bones and really became part of me.
Got a good story of discovery? I’d love to hear from you!